If Professional Football Were Honest – Honest Ads (NFL, Cheerleaders, Concussions)

If Professional Football Were Honest – Honest Ads (NFL, Cheerleaders, Concussions)


(beeping) – Hi, I’m Roger, and I’m here to tell you about the National Pointsball League. It’s a company I made that
stages live boy games. It’s also a giant public slaughterhouse fueled by human lives. Pointsball is the world’s
favorite sport in just America. It’s played by people of
all ages and one gender. And when pointsball was invented
over a hundred years ago it was almost outlawed for
killing too many of its players. – I thought it was too dangerous
and I’m Teddy Roosevelt. (gun blasting) – But we overcame that death issue by changing pointsball so that it kills lots more players more slowly. Now they die of brain trauma and overworked hearts off camera. That revolutionary change let us build the National Pointsball League, the most powerful entertainment
brand in human history. We control most Sundays,
lots of other days, and almost every conversation
in an American workplace. All we ask in return is
a little of your money to buy tickets or shirts or whatever, and then we seize literally
billions of dollars of your tax money to build stadiums. Stadiums I could pay for
myself but I would rather not. – I would do something about
that system but I’m dead. – Ah, you sure are! Anyway, my pointsball league
is a business in a sense that all criminal
enterprises are businesses, and unlike most criminal enterprises where they have to be subtle about it, my league does it’s criming
on national television. Just because you’ll do
anything to see this. (ball smacking) (laughs) Yup. Because we provide that we
can make American colleges train our future players on their dime. We can run a breast cancer
charity that’s really a trick to sell hats to ladies. We can make one of our teams
name straight up hate speech. – Go (bleep)! – And you would not believe
how little we pay her or how cool we are with
fellas sexually harassing her. – Give me an H! Give me an E! Give me an L! Give me a P! – Anyway, I don’t wanna take
up too much more of your time, because I don’t need to. You already give me more money
than God via the government so you can watch adult
men break each other. Adult men who have moms and stuff. But don’t think about that too hard. Instead think about how
goddamn great it’s gonna be when my league’s franchise
that’s geographically nearest to you goes out there and wins specific key pointsball boy games in a fashion that I’ve
decided makes them champion, whatever that means, for America! (sighs) Hey! There was supposed to be a
military jet flyover right then. The flyover we made the military pay us extra tax dollars for. Is that still happening? Is that? (engine roaring) War. I’m Roger, by the way. – Man-made iron birds? Bully! (acoustic guitar music) – Thanks for watching. If you’d to subscribe to our channel hit the big C in the middle. Feel free to click the links to the right if you want to watch
another Cracked video, and don’t forget to hit
that notification bell at the bottom to be notified when we put out another great Cracked video! – And you can follow me
on Twitter @kaleethan. – And me @amyehustler. – And I’m Brian. (laughing)

About the Author: Garret Beatty

100 Comments

  1. The NFL SUCKS these days. The best days are wayyyy behind. And this video was true, like all the others.

  2. Surprisingly, not a lot of football fans commenting about this. I love watching college football, I love going to the games. I think sports in general are a great way to bring communities together.

  3. People can win a lot of money on Sports if they know how to gamble and knows what teams will win before hand.

  4. Wait they're using my tax dollars to build a football stadium that I can't even afford to go to? Fucking ridiculous, these people are crooks.

  5. Speaking of sexual harassment in the NFL, sending opposite gender reporters and camera operators into a locker room to talk to people while they're naked and putting the videos on TV is this highest form of sexual harassment. Imagine if women were treated like that.

  6. If you read between the lines Roger is a Communist from Canada and his shtick is not fooling the truth seekers. He's as much a part of the problem as the problem itself.

  7. In summary:Those with the gold make all the rules-and get to have us pay for their stadiums, players and even more gold. All this, so we can be a little more distracted from our pathetic existence.

  8. The one part where he wants to hate on the Washington REDSKINS!!! didn't do his homework on the word Redskin, sounds like typical liberal BS to me, on that part anyway, go Skins!!!

  9. Hmmmm
    Don’t think you’re going to convince too many to stop watching after your little rant

    As was once famously said
    There’s two things a man needs to be happy

    Money
    And something to spend it on

    Man wants to be entertained

    Football is entertainment

    Science experiments are not

  10. Don't be fooled by the insane telling you they are sane and the other guys are insane. The real psychopaths are easily spotted when you see them with clear eyes. Psychopaths always use violence or it's threat to get what they want:
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    https://youtu.be/VXxzLy6MPpI?t=1365
    http://policecrimes.com
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Michael_Trentadue
    https://www.unicornriot.ninja/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/The-BulletProof-Warrior-Training-Manual-2014.pdf
    https://www.economist.com/united-states/2014/12/11/dont-shoot
    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/jun/09/the-counted-police-killings-us-vs-other-countries
    http://time.com/4779112/police-history-origins/
    https://thefreethoughtproject.com/landmark-study-police-brutality-problem/
    https://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2017/aug/16/look-data-domestic-terrorism-and-whos-behind-it/
    https://patch.com/us/across-america/area-has-more-psychopaths-any-other-place-us (Which is Washington DC)
    https://mic.com/articles/129981/10-police-brutality-statistics-that-are-absolutely-shocking
    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1noY45e67z1wQ3VfFFNa2icb6qqXGmZlt/view
    http://www.abuseofpower.info/Article_MisusePower.htm
    https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/police-misconduct-peer-effects/?fbclid=IwAR30oyLfyqLytCb5C8xHg8CqPRbhzT3a-5QkEcPmnvuBQvW4fFun7I8mdbk
    https://www.plainviewproject.org/
    https://www.globalresearch.ca/us-court-ruled-you-can-be-too-smart-to-be-a-cop/5420630
    https://abcnews.go.com/US/court-oks-barring-high-iqs-cops/story?id=95836
    https://pastebin.com/XLNwTtTi
    Note that youtube shuts down my accounts for posting these links! It says a lot! I'm simply posting links to videos on their own site!

  11. Sports are fun to play not to watch. When you can tell me what a team achieves but cant tell me what your own purpose in life is. Your being brainwashed. The players you worship dont care about you.

  12. I get it…

    But I'm still convinced ninety percent of these actors and or comment section have never played a down of football in their lives.

  13. People should “play” sports more than they “watch” sports…. it really is just a distraction that has absolutely no lasting impact on anything… you forgot about players and who won what almost immediately because it doesn’t matter in the slightest…. football is really fun to play tho, most sports are

  14. God DOESN'T HAVE A LAST NAME ! FUCKIN DAMNIT ! You Mr need to behave your ( God's name in vain ! ) Shame on you !. Now !"" Other then that !"" Good SHOW ! >:") sorry if I'm righteous anger ! You have a wonderful DAY ! Sir !.

  15. N F L ! CHANGE THEIR PAY TO A SOLDIERS PAY AND GIVE SOLDIERS AND MARINES THEIR PAY ! AND LETS SEE"" WHAT HAPPENS ! >;"} Laughing my mother fuckin boots off ! I'd bet you anything ! 80 % of the player's would pussy out or give up ! And that 20 % WOULD BE LEFT AS THE REAL MEN ! WHO ACTUALLY WOULD PLAY ! WITH GUTS HEART AND SOUL ! And wouldn't be as famous by the proper dignity of keeping it a real sport ! Only heart & soul ! No major billions spent every single year ! I'd wager 9 times out of 10 THEIR WOULD BE PRIDE in them truly living their life's as they wanted ! The 20 % !. Damn it ! You sure as FUCK know how to trigger other's thoughts !.

  16. It's a shitty sport with shitty players playing in shitty stadiums with shitty fans acting like the drunk assholes they are…refuse to go to games any longer and barely watch that garbage at all…I would rather go on a hike, go to a movie, anything but that boring ass 3 hour commercial interspersed with 13 minutes of actual football action surrounded by replay after replay after replay after replay and alot of standing around doing nothing…it's maybe the stupidest sport aside from golf

  17. Well… While I don't watch the league anymore, the liberal bullshit makes me want to start again. 😈💀

  18. I watch lots of football

    Maybe cause I was born in Russia and like it more then what we have in United States…

  19. My biggest gripe, breast cancer awareness week when they sell preserved meats, alcohol, and soda, all things that cause cancer

  20. I played football for 12 years and fucking despise it. Mostly because I was forced to play against my will as a child. Video is 100% accurate.

  21. Men running around in skin tight pants, trying to get a Blown up animal hide away from each other then slap each other on the A$$ when the catch them. BTW, it's a SCHOOLBOY GAME with players that make MILLIONS while acting like SPOILED SCHOOLBOYS that can get away with anything. Yeah, that sums it up nicely…LOL

  22. Oh yeah, And don't forget,,the also are Disrespecting our Flag, Military and Police by KNEELING and STILL being paid MILLIONS. One more reason I do NOT watch..just sayin'

  23. Who watches NFL anymore ?? I got tired of hearing millionaires who play a game for a living talk about being oppressed

  24. I call the game ‘men in tights’. I’d rather watch the lingerie league hoping to catch a glimpse of some meat drapes.

  25. It’s an even return. Owners have money and make more money so what? And y’all act like the NFL forces these players. It’s a choice and a true passion. The NFL brings people together. People that would never talk come in contact during sports. And also teams would be nothing without fans.

  26. Id bend that old man over until he loves me as much as I love him! Damn I like watching these videos!!!!!1111

  27. Biggest internment in human history ? No one watch that shit outside America .
    We watch real football . What you call soccer

  28. "Redskins" isn't "hate speech," for eff's sake. The term was actually coined by Native Americans themselves in the early 20th century as a word around which they could show unified pride in their cultures.

    What about the 1970s band Redbone, all of whose members were Native Americans? Is that "hate speech" too? I'm presuming that the band members themselves came up with that name. It's impossible to believe that someone forced it on them.

    And no, I'm not a Redskins fan or even very much of a sports fan. Just a guy getting tired of all this PC crap, and tired of everything being labeled "hate speech" just because some liberal snowflake doesn't like it.

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