Key & Peele – These Nuts – Uncensored

Key & Peele – These Nuts – Uncensored


Vince, I, uh, I have that quarterly analysis
that you asked for. I had a quarter
of these nuts on your chin. [clears throat]
Right. It’s just that
I wanted to review some of these numbers
with you. It seems like
our earnings are low against
our original projections. These nuts were low
against your chin. You know, Vince, if you ever need
to talk to me about something, I’m more than happy
to listen. These nuts would be more than
happy to rest against your chin. [sighs] Hey, look, you’ve been doing
this for about a week now, and it was kind of funny
at first. These nuts were kind of funny
against your chin. Vince,
I’m worried about you. I was worried
about these nuts on your chin. Vince, seriously. [sighs] [whispering]
These nuts were seriously
on your chin. Mr. Graham, I just got a call
from St. Mary’s Hospital, and your parents
were in a serious car accident. I’m so sorry,
but your mother is dead, and your father
is on life support. These nuts were supporting
life on your chin. Oh, my God. – Sorry, Amber.
[door closes] Vince, you got to stop it. Your mother
just passed away. These nuts
passed away on your chin. No, they didn’t.
They didn’t. Vince, listen, you got to leave here right now
and go be with your dad. This could be the last time
that you get to see him. This could be the last time
I get to see my nuts on your– God damn it, Vincent. Your father might be dying. These nuts might be
dying on your chin. God damn it, Vince! Snap the fuck out of it! Your mother is dead. Right.
You’re right. – You okay?
– I’m okay. You–you’re back. [whispering]
I don’t know what came over me. – It’s all right.
– It was so good. It was–it just– It worked in every situation,
and then it was– I know. I know. And it was always–
it was just so funny. Well, it wasn’t–
it wasn’t that funny. It was funny. It really wasn’t
that funny, Vince. It was…
really funny. I would not go so far as to
say it was really funny, Vince. It was funny. But it wasn’t. It was. It wasn’t. Agree to disagree. – It was funny.
– Okay. – It was funny.
– One more time. I’m just gonna go on record as saying it wasn’t really
that funny. I’m gonna go see my dad. It was funny. It wasn’t that funny. [sweeping orchestration] ♪ ♪ Dad.
[breathing heavily] Stay with me. Dad, I love you. [monitor beeping] And I love… These nuts
on your chin. [flatline] [dad’s voice]
These nuts on your chin. [sobbing, wailing]

About the Author: Garret Beatty

100 Comments

  1. THESE GUYS ARE 2 of the most funniest mfs on earth the chemistry delivery in whatever they do!!!! I’m dying

  2. I like that he's looking out the window in a contemplative manner and so calmly says a quarter of these nuts were on your chin😂

  3. Come on guys. This was a bottom of the barrel joke… if a barrel was your chin and the joke was deez nuts on your chin

  4. A qtr of nuts on your chin? Who tf says that!????! 🤦🏾🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 THESES GUYS ARE AMAZINGLY FUNNY!!!!!! 🤷🏽🙌🏽

  5. When I first watched this years ago and he was turned around from the window I expected to see nuts hanging from his chin (like the ballchininan in men in black). I'm watching it again years later and still expecting to see balls when Peele turned around.

  6. At the end of the day I can confirm that American culture is fuckin' twisted, the only thing the American people think all the time is the death. That's what they export in all the world.

  7. You could make a comment saying “Black people should kill themselves.” And someone will reply “bLaCkS sHoUlD kIlL tHeSe NuTs On ThEiR cHiN”

  8. Its tragic because his dad had the last word and won and he cant even try to come back with his one these nuts comment. 😂

  9. Don’t know why but as a dude, hitting someone with a “deez nutz” joke is fucking hilarious. Especially when they’re not expecting it!!

    Can you imagine a chic pulling a deez nutz joke? I’d be dying laughing

  10. This perfectly captures those people who say shit like this one time, get a good laugh and then make it a part of their personality the part I found funny AF is when he tells him "it really wasn't that funny" god I've had to do the same lol!!

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