“Sports In America” – Trevor Noah – (African American) LONGER RE-RELEASE

“Sports In America” – Trevor Noah – (African American) LONGER RE-RELEASE

You guys love your sports out here I’ve never seen
more focus put on sports anywhere else in the world Americans love there sports back to front you analyze them
you worship them you watch the game before the game
you watch the game after the game you talk about what might happen in the game
you talk about what’s happening in the game and then you talk about what happened in the game and what could have and what might
have but didn’t happen in the game it’s just the craziest thing i’ve seen in my life it’s all about statistics
have you seen sports in America? its non-stop guys come out there there’s no time for smiles or anything
just come up and ladies and gentlemen welcome to it
it’s the 2012 Miami Heat up against OKC this is the greatest final
we’ve been waiting for in the NBA finals LeBron James leading his team
out here averaging 30 points doubled every single game
10 points per game Just this season alone it’s all
this man is just something else 90 percent from the free throw line he just got in his consistent his gotten better his team coming in with more Chris Bosh coming in with more assist
really doing well in the last game just like whaaa!
whaaa! numbers, numbers, numbers
stats, stats, stats you guys know everything
every stat well I mean his got four out of five
and if you look at that statistic alone it looks like he should be getting four and it’s just crazy
you know everything and then you switch over to your
business channels and your economy and you’re like what’s happening
in the economy this year Bob? well nobody knows
I mean Nobody knows Yea Ha Ha Ha Ha Uh we thought the housing market was coming up
but it wasn’t Ha Ha Ha Ha but hey I mean
that’s the economy you never know right? you never know
What about stocks? Well stocks I guess they’re up and down I don’t really know they’re up and down
They can go anywhere Those are stocks
We don’t know but the sports you know you need to flip that around
get the statistics in the economy just relax on your sports
Have fun like the sports I watch are relaxed
like soccer I am a huge fan of soccer Yea Oh
there’s some fans here I love soccer
It’s chilled you hear it in the commentators
when the game is being played there’s no statistics at all the game starts off
the whistle blows (Whistle) and welcome ladies and gentlemen to this majestic match it’s Spain playing against Germany Oh and what a wonderful day it is look at the crowd really excited oh and the atmosphere is amazing
what wonderful weather Oh yea John you can feel it
and the players look great it’s wonderful what do you thinks going
to happen today Martin Oh nobody knows I can’t even remember the last
time I saw a game this good Americans will remember
Americans will go back to the finest statistic the last time a black man scored using his left
hand jumping over a mixed-race half Indian was in 1967 when the… Okay like what? this is madness It’s all about action in
the sports as well, you know as much action as possible,
it’s all about action in America it’s so action focused you will
take the ball from the other team if they do not give you enough action.
I have never seen that in my life that’s a horrible way to bring people
up. You just go to the other team and go “Hey you guys, you take the ball and you’ve got 24 seconds
to get the ball in that net 24 seconds! and if you don’t do it
we give the ball to the other team you hear me? We are going to
give the ball to thew other team yeah we know there’s a lot of black
guys but you try and get past them that’s up to you.
Go! 24 seconds later
(Horn blowing) You guys, you try.
You try. all about the action, you know because America’s different it’s different from the rest of the world and you don’t really know how
different America is though until you get here,
that’s the one thing I will say you think you know but then when you land in
America in your airports that’s when you know this place is this place is different because American airports, unlike
airports everywhere in the world which has a certain level of joy and just all round happiness American airports they are like like concentration camps , you know? it’s just people walking
barefoot in single file No, it’s no joke there’s even signs that say: “No jokes” and you are like, really? it’s just insane,
and you walk through those airports and you have to do things in American airports
you don’t do anywhere else in the world like you have to take your shoes
off, shoes come off and you don’t know this as a
foreigner, but they don’t care they are just like, “You,
take your shoes off!” I am like, my what? Your shoes, take them off!” Why? “For safety, Sir” I’m like, I am keeping them
on for your safety my friend You don’t do this anywhere,
I remember flying into Dubai one year and as we get into the airport this woman, an American woman
started taking of her shoes and those guys, you must understand when you are in the middle east
as a woman you are already a sin and now to be taking your
clothes off in public these guys lost their
minds, they where just like “Hey, what are you doing?!
What are you doing! “you, what are you doing?” She’s like, “I’m taking my clothes off” they are like, “no,
no, what are you doing? She’s like I am taking…
but why are you taking your clothes off? she’s like, “So the machine works” He’s like, ” No, this is
machine, not your husband you don’t need to get naked!” “Put your clothes on and
walk through you whore!” they where just,
you don’t do it anywhere else. but when you come out here you
have to take off your shoes and you have take off your jacket
to walk through the metal detector and they are mean about it,
they will shout at you like “You, take it off, take it off!” but you don’t know what to take off you don’t take it off anywhere else,
so you don’t know what to take off He’s like, “You take it off!”
Take what off? “Take it off, Sir!”
Take what off? “Take it off now!”
What? “Your clothes, take off!”
Take off my clothes? now you are standing there with this man
shouting at you to take your clothes off you feel like a child in a Catholic
Church, it’s just horrible! just standing there I mean, I understand
the need for security but they don’t need to shout at
you, at least if they try to be nice maybe if they chanted
instead of shouting you know instead of, “Take it off!”
If they where like “Take it off, Take it off,
take it off” You would be like,
“Yeah, whoo, security!” “Safe and sexy!” they don’t it’s the harrowing
experience as you come in. and the worst is if you have
to go through passport control as Americans you don’t feel the
pain, but as a foreigner it’s a whole different game you Americans walk through
to the U.S citizens line and they welcome you back like you where on some secret mission “Welcome home Sir” You know? When you’re a foreigner you have to wait In a super long line You know, and then they tease you the line goes right to the front then it comes back Comes back And you finally get there and you have to wait for them you know and he’s standing there and the guy is like “Sir, sir, come on, come on sir, step forward, for- step forward sir! step forward! forward! Back! Back! behind the line sir, back! get back sir, get back,”. You know its the stress you’re standing there and know you have to answer questions horrible, like you don’t understand it’s the stress you know standing there and you you don’t want to get any of the questions wrong because just like school they will send you back so you stand there and you have to answer them into a microphone that’s placed strategically low almost so that you have to bow to the American as you answer every question of his and they ask you these questions questions you feel like you know the answers too but when you’re there I mean I just handed the man my passport to which he replied “Is this you?” never before have I felt so much pressure to look like myself I was like “I was younger then” it’s horrible and then he starts rattling them off “It’s your first time in the United States Of America sir?” uh, yes “Your first time sir, is that correct?” uh, yes “Sir, what is the duration of your visit out here?” I’m going to be here for six months “Six months sir, is that correct?” yes “Sir what is the purpose of your visit in the United States Of America?” I’m here for holiday “Holiday sir?” yes “Which one?” my one “Could you elaborate sir?” holiday! “Yeah what do you mean holiday sir?” you know like holiday, like woooowoooooo yeaaaahh holiday holiday “You mean vacation sir?” ah! battery, yes of course

About the Author: Garret Beatty


  1. Thanks for watching! 🙌🏾Subscribe & turn on notifications to find out when I upload new videos! http://bit.ly/SubscribeTrevorNoah

  2. Maybe, just maybe, soccer commentary is like that because most Americans have no idea about the sport? Like, here in Germany (same goes for England, France, Spain and Italy) we get bombarded with statistics like: "Ohhh Messi scored another free kick. It's his 10th this season, which puts him above any other team in the world combined, at a rate of 46%. This has been his 3rd consectuive goal…".

  3. And they call football the game where a melon-like item is used and most of the time stays in the players arms and hands. It is not a ball, and it is not played with feet.

  4. 5:22 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 '' What Are You Doing '' … Trevor knows every single accent in the world .

  5. Bashing religion is a trend now I know, but cant you keep your level? Do you have ro be that much of a cheap dude for your quotes? Spend some time with religion and you will see what you are still missing

  6. “Being a woman in the middle east is already a sin” duuuuude trevor comeeee onnnn!!!! That’s not 100% true 🤣

  7. Did he meant him and Russell Peters?-The last time a black man scored using his left hand jumping over a mixed race Indian

  8. Hey man I was just wondering if your Swiss father apologized for his people? Swiss are the coldest, nastiest people you’ll come across ( generally not when they’re on vacation though..or if they want your money)
    Remember, Switzerland neutral in everything but gold.

  9. Whenever I come to YouTube to watch some Islamic videos I end up watching yours – 🤷‍♀️ 😂 😂

  10. Love this guy.. As I get older his humour is really starting to grow on me.. Or is it because he just taking the piss out of the yanks.. 😂🙏

  11. US Customs & TSA personnel are mostly high school dropouts. For their lack of education, they are probably the most uneducated work force. Like, for real. Funny that they hire lower intelligent folks for the job who were immigrants. And their job is to turn away immigrants at the borders. LOL #stupid

  12. omg the shoe thing is so real – I was in Mexico with my husband there were signs to tell Americans DO NOT TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES OFF!

  13. This was so true, and made me laugh😂😂 especially u.s. customs for foreigners, 7:56 "almost as if you have to bow to the american"…..jajajajjajaja😂

  14. Canada, America, Australia… what do they all have in common ?

    – they were English Colonies, which were the dumphole of english convicts, pirates, thieves, slaves and feudal lords !

    – they still use Imperial measuring system while the rest of the world uses Metric system even English themselves, and it is proven to be much more efficient not only because everyone in the world uses it, but also its measurements !

    – they are all still playing Rogby and call it football, while the entirety of the rest of the world plays football and calls Football , football , a game that involves 90 minutes of running , strategy and kicking a ball on foot while running and strategizing, attacking and defending ! what does rogby entail ??? wear armor, and crash into each other, injure your body and brain and even then, instead of having some sense of athleticism and kick the ball with their foot, they just take it in their hands and run around… as if that can be considered sport :)))

  15. You really want to know why we take our shoes off in airports in America? It’s not a state secret or anything. Google the shoe bomber and the underwear bombers. Yeah plural. There’s been some crazy shit happening in the air over the years. The US is nuts.

  16. The British commentators are kind of relaxed but the Arabic and the Spanish ones are fire ! They hype you so much ( I am talking of football / soccer)

  17. Idk how this science works but parents srsly have the worst timing of walking in your room. My mom walked in on – " I am taking my clothes off!!!!" 😂😂

  18. I watch Trevor during my lunch break time in order to lighten up my mood from the stress I got from morning and recharge myself. Thank you my Battery ❤️. I am a 🌻 and Trevor is my ☀️.

  19. I totally identify with the experience at the airport , I recently visited the states and I never felt more like a criminal than in that moment..I like how you make light of a stressful situation though🤣

  20. Which dubai have you been to ? Because the dubai I live in is very open. Women dress anyway they want. Wear bikinis to beaches. And you ll never ever get yelled at or be abused by a police officer or a government employee. I dont appreciate you spreading lies about other cultures. Specially from you as a black from south africa. You know what it feels like to be stereotyped. That is double standards.

  21. I don't know the stats, but I'm so sure that he is one of the world's most intelligent people.*.🌟
    You've got another Japanese fan.

  22. What…the…fuck is he talking about? We ARE fanatical about sports, BUT — every other country are MANIACAL about theirs. I dunno a single case in the US when a player is executed / murdered for missing a field goal like the psychos everywhere else over their fckn soccer aka fútbol.

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