“Walter the weather man” | Spark of Insanity | JEFF DUNHAM

“Walter the weather man” |  Spark of Insanity  | JEFF DUNHAM

– So, Walter, you guys have
been married a long time. – Oh, yeah. – Ups and downs in every marriage. – Yeah. You ever been to any marriage counseling? – (groaning) Yes. – What’d that do for ya? – Look at me. (crowd laughing) I’m happy! (crowd laughing) – Come on, what were the
results of the counseling? – Well, at the end of it all, there were two folks who
thought I was an ass, (crowd laughing) and I’m paying both of ’em. (crowd laughing) – But you are happy to be here. – Oh, sure, it’s better than last week. – Last week? – Yeah. – Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. We were there. You didn’t like that? – No. – Why not? – Everyone in Ft. Lauderdale,
Florida looks exactly like me. (crowd laughing) (applause) I swear it’s like one giant nursing home. (crowd laughing) – Wait, isn’t Ft. Lauderdale
where they tape those Girls Gone Wild videos. – Well that’s only during Spring Break. The rest of the time
it’s Girls Gone Saggy. (crowd laughing) Then it’s Girls Gone Senile, (crowd laughing) and then it’s just Girls Gone. (crowd laughing) (applause) – You didn’t like the
weather there either. – Oh, my God, even in
the middle of the winter it’s humid as hell and hot as hell. We got there, I took a shower on Monday, Friday still not dry. (crowd laughing) I swear, I grew moss on my ass. (crowd laughing) – Yeah, you said the
weather changes too quickly? – Yeah, I know it changes fast everywhere else in the country, but in Florida, it’s ridiculous. – What are you talking about? – Oh, my God, I was
standing there on the beach, in the sunshine, having a little iced tea, I looked over and I go
“Ooh, look, a little cloud.” About three minutes later,
(imitating strong winds) (crowd laughing) Holy crap! The locals are hanging
onto the palm trees. “We love it here!” (crowd laughing) You dumbasses. (crowd laughing) I say leave it to the
Cubans and get the hell out! (crowd laughing) (applause) – All right, so you want
someplace a little cooler? – Yeah. – Do you remember we went
to Green Bay, Wisconsin? – Yeah, in February. (crowd laughing) It was negative 20 with
a negative 30 windchill. I’d get onstage every night and I’d say “You people are idiots!” (crowd laughing) “Did you know the borders are open?” (crowd laughing) “Pack up your suburban
and get the hell out!” And another thing, Green
Bay Packer stadium, what’s it called? – Lambeau Field. – Lambeau Field. No roof. Hello? (crowd laughing) – How many weekends during football season is good weather in Green Bay? That would be none. (crowd laughing) Note to self: Build a freakin’ roof. (crowd laughing) We have the technology. (crowd laughing) (applause) Eh, you talk to the locals in
Green Bay, what do they say? (shivering) “Ummmm, we
love it here” (shivering) (shivering) “We’re a
hardy people” (shivering) (crowd laughing) Bunch of frozen dumbasses is what you are. (crowd laughing) – All right Walter, what about,
you don’t like the humidity, you don’t like the extreme cold, you want someplace warmer and drier. – Yeah. – How about when we, lets see,
in August we were in Phoenix. – August in Phoenix, Arizona. (crowd laughing) Your agent is a moron. (crowd laughing) It was 112 three days in a row. And what do all the locals say? “But it’s a dry heat.” (crowd laughing) Screw you. (crowd laughing) (applause) A bonfire is a dry heat. (crowd laughing) You don’t see me sticking my
ass in one of those do you? (crowd laughing) “Your ass is on fire.” “It’s a dry heat!” (crowd laughing) “I was in Florida, I gotta
burn off the freakin’ moss.” (crowd laughing) – All right, did you enjoy
being in New York City? – Oh, I love New York City. – Good. – Yeah, it was great. We’d do shows in Manhattan, about midnight we’d get back to the hotel, 1:00am I’d lay my head on the pillow, and listen to the sounds of the city. (imitating siren) (screaming) (crowd laughing) (applause) (whooshing sound) (clunking noise)

About the Author: Garret Beatty


  1. Jeff: remember when we were in Tulsa Oklahoma?

    Walter: yeah one day it was 30 degrees one day and 90 the next.

    Jeff: yeah the weather is kind of crazy.

    Walter: and the tornados and earthquakes

    Jeff: what about them?

    Walter: they had and earthquake and a tornado at the same time. Again more locals and hanging out of trees yelling, We LoVe It HeEeRrEeEe. Dumbasses

  2. Walter has a point about Wisconsin. I don’t live in Green Bay, but in the winter, it gets colder than cold🥶🥶🥶

  3. I have no idea how many time I have replayed Walter clips. Jeff turned all the dummies into life. Each of them has their own personality. In my opinion, Walter is Jeff's relationship with his ex-wife

  4. 'Bout 3 minutes later, (WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH) HOOOOLY CRAAAAAP! The locals are hanging onto the palm trees, WE LOVE IT HEEEEEERRRRRE!

  5. Googletubes community guidelines do not exist. Please refere to the constitution if within United States of America.

  6. I’ve been watching Jeff Dunham since about 1987 . Some of the funniest shit I ever saw . And as old as I am was exposed to Edgar Burgen and Charley McArthy and Dumb Dumb , my favorite.

  7. Talk to the locals in greenbay and what do they say? Mmmmmmm we love it here we are hearty people

  8. "Lambeau field, no roof, HELLOOOOOO!? How many weekends during football season is good weather in Greenbay? That would be, Nooooooon-uh " 😂😂😂😂

  9. Jeff: What were the results of the counseling?

    Walter: At the end of it all, there were 2 folks who thought I was an ass. And I’m paying both of them.

    OMG LOL!

  10. The first thing I thought of when I heard a category 4 is gonna hit us in Brevard county this weekend "WE LOVE IT HERE" 😄😁😆😅😂🤣😭

  11. He ain't kidding about Phoenix. I used to live there, and they did say "Oh, it's a dry heat." So's a fucking oven, but I ain't trying to climb in one of those!!

  12. Walter, I used to live in Fort Lauderdale-everyone doesn’t look like you. But they DO look like you in “ Century Village “ a few miles NORTHWEST of Fort Lauderdale!

  13. I live in Arizona and yeah it's fucking ridiculous 112 for 3 days in a row it's gone up since then we need Walter for the weather man or better yet the president

  14. This cracked me up the first time I saw it. I had to laugh so hard I could barely breathe. Still cracks me up now.
    My brother and I use the “We love it heeeeere!” when we’re somewhere and it starts raining or something.

  15. As a Floridian myself, Ft. Lawd does indeed have an old people infestation. Plus when it comes to Florida, if you hate the weather, wait 15 mins. Itll go from raining cats and dogs, to sunshine in 15 mins.

  16. You got to stay away from getting clean because that attracts bad people.
    in my opinion they are horrible bad people and I want nothing to do with them

  17. I liked it when Walter started to complain about Wisconsin. he was saying what i was thinking. and i've in Wisconsin for 16 years

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